I Wish I Had More Time

Jenny Addressing Wedding Invitations

Addressing Wedding Invitations

I am on one of those “Where has the time gone?” rolls right now. I’m looking down through my lens of memories of my precious first born as we approach her wedding in June. It’s tortuously tender and boggles my mind as I absorb the reality that time has gone… here we are… a shifting of place and role in my baby girl’s life.

I’m not ready, AT ALL. I try to weep when it hits me, hoping that I’ll be DONE once the wedding gets here. Unfortunately, I’ve been warned that it won’t work when I see that precious thing standing there in her glory, ready to leave us and cleave to her precious man. So, I’ll just sit here and sob anyway.

At her Bridal Tea this Sunday

I don’t want to seem morbid in the least. I’m so happy for my girl. This is a precious young couple that has spent a great deal of time getting to know each other. Enough to know that they can’t stand to be apart anymore, and God has given them a sure ‘go ahead’ –that this is their time to join as one and begin their life together. We believe in them both… that they are humble, teachable and honorable. This will serve them well as they step out to take the first steps of becoming man and wife.

And that’s what it will be… a becoming. This isn’t the goal or the end game. It’s the beginning of a new family… a new life… embryonic in it’s understanding and experience. It will grow day by day, as they invest love, kindness, thoughtfulness, tenderness, hard work, patience, forbearance and forgiveness into it. These are the staples of any good relationship and they will need plenty of each.

These are the memories that I see as I look through the ‘lens of now’ to my life with my daughter. A day by day journey… loving, sharing, holding, crying, seeing, feeling, exulting, grieving, talking, laughing, playing, kissing, cuddling… holding her hand and watching every step that was approaching… protecting, guarding, warning, teaching, beseeching, correcting, and guiding.

Time Warp

Never will I hold in contempt the daily routines that may seem so redundant. These are blocks that build life… bedtime prayers, chitchat and laughter at the dinner table, folding the laundry, making the bed… serving and caring for my people. The time is approaching to let her go and give her to her own grown-up life.

Even with the busyness of all the myriad of wedding preparations and as all of this unfolds quickly, I realize that my two daughters who are still at home need me. I have to be mindful that they need me to keep giving, keep caring, and keep being all that they need me to be.

My Three Daughters

The days go by so quickly and there’s no getting them back. So, seize now, seize today. Invest the things that last… forget the stuff that’s inconsequential and fleeting. When you look into your loved one’s eyes… this is what matters. This is eternal… no one can take it from you. I want to live there more often and make the moments count.

3 thoughts on “I Wish I Had More Time

  1. Brenda Parrish

    Both of my daughters are now grown, married and mothers themselves. We had homeschooled so had spent many hours together. They were more than daughters, they were friends and companions too. I know you are into good food and memories. Since for a while both girls lived in our same town, we had a family night once a week where we had a meal together and then played cards or board games together. So much fun and so many good memories! I also enjoy scrapbooking and I made both of them a photo recipe scrapbook, incorporating favorite family recipes, along with some of the stories that went along with the recipe (your dad’s fav, Grandma S’s “secret” recipe, etc). Sprinkled throughout the book are family night pictures, from our meals and game nights. I got to where I would find a theme for some of the meals and really go all out to decorate—holidays were especially fun (St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, etc) I had so much fun pulling these together and both of my daughters treasure these books with so much family history and memories included.

    Letting go is hard, but so much easier when you know they are being given over to a great young man! Congratulations.

  2. Sarah

    You have beautiful daughters! I am sure their characters
    are just as attractive as their outer selves- testament to your investment in them. Well done on a life of careful raising’

  3. Gayle

    Ahhh, Jenny. I love the way you express your heart towards your girls. I’m really enjoying following you on your website. Even though we’re not in touch much, I get a glimpse into your lives. I am blessed to have had you all in our lives for a season. May God’s blessings continue to be with you, and especially Casey as she begins a new journey. So exciting!

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